Big up 2025! Gearing up for a Year of Kindness.

Change is inevitable, but kindness is a choice. How do you bring kindness into challenging conversations? 

Last year was a doozy (in a good way for me!). Health setbacks, life challenges—you name it. But each of them brought progress, reflection, and clarity about what I want and who I want to be. This year, I’m leaning into small, sustainable changes that contribute to my overall sense of joy. I want to live as fully as I am privileged to. 

Central to this is habitually cultivating my attitude towards change—seeing opportunities when things get tricky and stepping beyond my comfort zone. Let’s face it, it’s easy to be fabulous doing what you know, how you know, and doing it well.

But change is non-negotiable. Everything is constantly evolving. As Leo Tolstoy said: 

“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing themself.” 

It’s a broad point, yes, but there’s truth in it. Achieving goals—whether personal, spiritual, professional, or creative—feels incredible. When you’re thriving, it’s often easier to give kindness and empathy. 

But what about when you’re not thriving? 

• You missed an important calendar appointment. 

• A colleague you don’t particularly like gets under your skin more than usual. 

• An unexpected debit derails your budget. 

  
  

In these confetti moments of chaos, it’s easy to feel depleted. And let’s be honest, you can’t pour from an empty cup. But here’s the thing: while you’re focusing on finding your centre again, your relationships, responsibilities, and connections don’t pause. 

This year, I’m also committing to being kinder to myself—speaking to myself the way I’d speak to a friend. And I want to extend that same kindness to my loved ones: being more patient with my children when they need me most, and showing more understanding with my parents as they navigate their own seasons of change. 

Neuroscience tells us that kindness isn’t just ‘nice to have’ -  it’s transformative. Acts of kindness release oxytocin (sometimes called the ‘love hormone’), which helps reduce stress, increase feelings of trust, and improve overall well-being. What’s more, kindness has a ripple effect; when someone experiences kindness, their brain responds in a way that makes them more likely to pay it forward. 

Imagine that—a small moment of patience with your child, a gentle response in a heated conversation, or even just speaking kindly to yourself could create a ripple that touches someone you’ll never even meet. 

When conversations get tough—whether you’re feeling strong or running on empty—there are a few things I try to keep in mind: 

First, I remind myself to pause. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do in a challenging moment is to simply take a breath and hold space before responding. Rushing in with a reactive comment rarely leads anywhere good. I also lean into curiosity. If something feels unclear or loaded, I’ll ask questions—simple ones like, “Can you help me understand what you mean by that?” It’s amazing how often clarity can dissolve tension. 

Then there’s the tricky art of speaking from your own experience. It’s so easy to slip into accusations or defensiveness, but saying, “I felt concerned when this happened,” instead of, “You made me feel this way,” creates room for dialogue rather than defence. 

And let’s not forget listening—not just hearing words, but really listening. That means putting aside your mental counter-arguments and giving your full attention to the other person. It sounds simple, but it’s one of the hardest and most generous things you can do in a conversation. 

Finally, I try to keep sight of the bigger picture. What do I actually want from this exchange? Is it clarity? Connection? Resolution? Sometimes reminding myself of the goal helps me soften my edges and focus on what matters most. 

These aren’t foolproof tactics, and they won’t guarantee perfect conversations. But they’re small, sustainable practices, habits really, that help me show up with more kindness, even when it’s hard. 

So here’s my question to you: 

A dark brown skinned woman with flowing shoulder length curls is portrayed serenely floating amidst a vibrant cosmic landscape, her peaceful expression reflecting the mysteries and wonders of the universe. A depiction of bliss from the embodiment of kindness.

What’s one thing you do to bring kindness into challenging conversations?